Asking for Help

A diagnosis of childhood cancer can turn a family’s life upside down.

But relatives, friends, coworkers, and community members can serve as a port during this storm.

Sometimes figuring out what you need and how to organize offers of help can seem a little overwhelming.

Consider these ideas:

• Appoint someone to help organize.
• Prioritize needs.
• Make a list.
• Identify who can help.
• Consider using websites to help.
 

Designate a Coordinator

Appoint a friend or family member to coordinate help. This is one less thing for parents to have to manage. And it can take away some of the awkwardness to have someone else ask for help on your behalf. 

Depending on needs, parents may want to identify more than one person as a point person to coordinate assistance. This should be someone who:

• Parents know and trust, such as a family member or a close friend
• Is organized and easy to reach
• Knows the family's personal, social, and professional networks
• Is computer- or technology-savvy enough to use one of the websites that makes coordinating volunteers easier

Prioritize What You Need and Who Can Help

The many needs during the cancer journey can be overwhelming. A first step is to keep a list of what you need. Talk with another family who has been through a similar experience. This can help you anticipate needs that you might not think of ahead of time. 

Identify specific ways people can help

Match people with ways they can help

Once needs have been identified, put together a list of the people who have already offered their help and others who can be asked. Match them with your needs. It can help to think of people in different areas of life:

• School, including teachers, parents, and students  
  
• Faith-based and community organizations  
• Work and professional organizations

Depending on the number of organizations and potential volunteers, it may help to have a volunteer coordinator in charge of different organizations.

Help at Different Stages of Treatment

When people first find out about your child’s illness, you will probably receive the most offers of help. Keep a list of people who offer help. You will need assistance throughout your journey.  

Help during diagnosis

When your child is newly diagnosed, consider asking for:

• Emotional support
• Help that gives you the time alone, with your spouse, or with siblings
• Help keeping others informed 
• Cooking or household chores that you may not have the time or energy for

Help during hospitalization

When your child is in the hospital, consider asking for: 

• Help with siblings or others you normally care for
• Help taking care of your home and yard while you are away
• A video chat with your child’s closest friend if your child is feeling up to it 
• Help updating people with information  
• A foldable cot to sleep in the hospital room with your child if the hospital allows it

Help during outpatient or homebound care

When your child is in outpatient treatment, consider asking for:

• Rides to treatment when you need to tend to your child during the drive
• Help updating people on how the treatments are going
• Tutoring help for what your child misses at school
• Emotional support  
• Help with siblings and household needs
• Help with meals and grocery shopping

Websites to Coordinate Help

Free websites and apps can help families manage and update friends and volunteers easily.

Online Donation Sites

Online donation sites make it possible for people to give money directly to families to help them manage out-of-pocket costs associated with pediatric cancer. Friends and family can help spread the word about the fund through social media and email. These sites charge fees per each donation. 

• GoFundMe is the most well known personal fundraising site. It charges a commission of 5% plus 30 cents per donation as well as 2.9% in processing fees.
• Generosity exclusively hosts campaigns for social issues and individuals in need. It charges a processing fee of 3% + 30 cents per donation.
• YouCaring bills itself as the compassionate crowdfunding site. It charges a processing fee of 2.9% + 30 cents per donation.