Grief After the Death of a Child

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What is grief?

Sunbeam shining through forest — Each person grieves in their own way. Give yourself permission to ask for help at any time.

Grief is how people respond when someone they love dies. After the death of a child, many families often wonder how they will get through each day.

Grief is personal. It can change throughout the day and over time. It affects the body, thoughts, and emotions. Many families say that grief does not go away. Instead, it becomes something they learn to carry.

Feelings and responses to grief

Each person grieves in their own way. Even parents who experience grief over the same child might respond differently. Some days, they grieve more. Some days, they grieve less.

Some people share feelings, and others stay quiet or focus on tasks. Both ways of grieving are common. Many people show a mix of both styles, and these patterns can change over time.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline for grief. Each person’s experience is shaped by their bond with the child. It is also shaped by their life experiences, previous losses, culture, beliefs, and support systems.

Feelings of grief can include:

Shock or disbelief
Deep sadness
Fear or anxiety
Anger or frustration
Guilt or regret
Loneliness
A strong sense of longing, yearning, or wishing for things to be different

Someone who is feeling grief may:

Have trouble sleeping or sleep more than usual
Eat more or less than usual
Feel tired or low on energy
Have trouble focusing or making decisions
Lose interest in daily activities
Have strong memories or thoughts about their child
Experience tearfulness, grief bursts, or an inability to cry

These responses can come and go.

Ways to cope with grief

Grief can be exhausting, especially acute grief. Some days, even small tasks can feel overwhelming.

When it feels right, you may choose to:

Talk with trusted friends or family
Join peer or bereavement support groups
Connect with faith or spiritual communities
Keep simple daily routines
Rest, eat regularly, and stay active
Honor your child through photos, memory boxes, rituals, or special items
Express feelings through writing, art, or music

Professional support

Mental health professionals, including psychologists, counselors, and social workers, can help during grief. Seeking support is part of healthy coping and shows you're listening to your feelings and honoring the love behind the grief.

Mental health professionals can:

Offer a safe place to talk
Help you understand your feelings
Share tools to help you and your family cope

When to seek help for grief

Some who grieve may have symptoms of anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Sometimes, extra support from a mental health professional can help keep you or a loved one safe and supported.

Reaching out for help may be important if you or a family member:

Feels overwhelmed most of the day for many weeks
Has trouble with sleeping or eating that does not get better
Struggles to do daily activities
Pulls away from others for a long time
Feels hopeless or without purpose
Has strong guilt or blame
Has distressing memories that feel hard to control
Has severe distress or anxiety

Seek help right away if you or a loved one has thoughts of:

Self-harm, wishing to die, or making a plan to end life
Hurting yourself or someone else

To get help in the United States:

Go to the nearest emergency room right away.
Call 911. Let the dispatcher know this is a mental health crisis.
Call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
Visit the Crisis Text Line: Text HOME or HOLA to 741741 for free, 24/7 mental health support.

To get help in other countries, use a list of:

International suicide hotlines from Open Counseling
Emergency contact numbers created by the U.S. State Department

Podcasts that address grief

Connecting Through Grief When a Child Dies shares stories from parents at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital who have experienced the death of a child. Each episode focuses on a different part of grief.
Caregivers SHARE, a St. Jude podcast, shares stories and insights from families and care team members. Topics include grief, healing, and support.