When your child or teen is in the hospital, their daily routine changes. They may be sad, angry, fearful, and feel a loss of control. These are normal feelings.
How they react to these feelings depends on their age, stage of development, and personality. Also, some medications may make them feel different. It is common for children and teens to react in 3 ways:
Regression, aggression, and withdrawal are usually temporary reactions. These behaviors often decrease or stop when they feel more secure and adjust.
If your child is regressing, they may act younger than their age by clinging to you or sucking their thumb.
Regression means going back to an earlier stage of life to cope with a new situation. Your child may act younger than their age if they:
In the hospital, health care providers and parents make many decisions that affect patients. Your child or teen might feel like they have no control over what happens to them. They may be angry, fearful, and act out (misbehave) in aggressive ways such as:
Some children and teens react by avoiding normal activities. They may:
Some children may back away from their usual activities and interact less with others.
Your child’s reactions will vary daily. Watch for changes in their behavior and emotions, especially if that last for several days to weeks at a time. Also watch to see if these behaviors happen only when they are at the hospital. Or if they continue when your child transitions to your home and goes back to school. Tell your health care team about any concerns.
If your child or teen asks questions, answer honestly with age-appropriate information. Share only what they need to know at that time.
Child life specialists, psychologists, social workers, and chaplains can help you interact with your child or teen. They have experience and are ready to assist. Do not be afraid to reach out and ask for help if you need it.
Help your child or teen find healthy ways to manage their emotions and share their fears:
When they are ready, encourage your child or teen to talk about how they feel and not hide their emotions. If they start asking questions, let your child guide the type of questions or concerns they wish to talk about. This can be a clue that your child is ready to talk about their illness and learn more.
Please see Talking to Your Child about Cancer for more important tips on how to talk with your child.
Take care of your emotional health and that of other family members too.
Talk with other parents going through the same thing.
Help your child or teen find better ways to let out their feelings instead of hiding them or acting out. They can:
Set rules and keep consistent limits for your child or teen at the hospital. Keeping a routine helps them feel secure. Some tips are:
Help your child or teen stay connected with friends and family through calls or visits.
If there are options, let your child or teen choose to give them a sense of control. If something must happen, then do not offer it as a choice.
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Reviewed: June 2022
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