Tips for Supporting Your Child’s Friendships After Cancer

Things you can do to support your child during this transition include:

• Talk with your child about how they feel about being around their friends and classmates again. Reassure your child it is normal to be nervous about this.
• Talk with your child about returning home and what to expect from friends. Allow your child to ask questions. These might include:
  • “Will my friends want to play or hang out with me?”
  • “Will my friend group be the same?”
  • “Is it normal that my friend group changed since I started treatment?”
  • “Will I be able to do the same things with my friends I used to do with them?”
• Prepare your child for physical, mental, and emotional changes that might happen after treatment. These changes might affect their time with friends and classmates. They might include:
  • Getting tired more easily at school or during other activities
  • Having a hard time keeping up during physical activities
  • Adjusting to being around large groups again
  • Looking different than before cancer treatment
• Talk about things your child might enjoy doing with friends. Help your child brainstorm activities to do with specific friends. Be open to your child pursuing new interests.
• Your child might want to do activities they enjoyed before treatment. If you think this might be hard, be prepared to make changes that could help.
  • For example, your child might be nervous about a sleepover. Give your child the option of being picked up at bedtime. Or offer to host the sleepover at your house.
  • Maybe your child was on a sports team before treatment. Talk with the coach about ways your child can take part in group practices while rebuilding stamina.
• Other kids might ask questions that make your child uncomfortable. Help your child think through how to respond if this happens.
• Your child may worry about being treated differently by peers. Help your child come up with things to say if this happens. For example: “Thank you for checking in. I know my limits. I will let you know if I need help.”
• Find ways for your child to take part in social activities. You could encourage your child to join clubs, teams, group lessons, or hang out with friends.
• Consider setting up play dates for your younger child.

How to help your child return to school

Things you can do to support your child’s return to school include:

• Ensure that teachers understand your child’s social needs.
  • Check in with teachers on a regular basis to see how your child is doing socially. Is your child with classmates at recess? Is your child able to find a partner for group projects?
• Talk about what your child might want to be shared with classmates about the cancer diagnosis.
• Your child might be more excited about returning to school if they focus on activities they look forward to doing with friends. You might ask your child questions like:
  • “What are you most excited to do with your class?”
  • “What clubs, teams, or other groups do you want to join?”
• Include your child in talks about classroom accommodations. You might ask questions like:
  • “How do you think the school can make it easier for you to get around the cafeteria?”
  • “What would make it easier for you to take part in physical education?”
  • “How would you feel about having a buddy with you during recess?”

Questions to ask your care team

• How can I encourage my child to take part in social activities after cancer?
  
• How can child life, social work, and other members of the care team help?
• What kind of accommodations will my child need at school?
• How can my child gain confidence in navigating friendships?