Physician Values Caregiver Intuition

There is a moment in medicine that every pediatric oncologist, nurse, or clinician recognizes—that pause when a parent says, “Something’s off.” 

Sometimes there are no medical signs or symptoms yet—no lab changes, no fevers, no clear symptoms. Just a feeling. Over the years working as a pediatric oncologist, I have learned that feeling is often right. 

What is caregiver intuition?

Caregiver intuition is that deep instinct and awareness that parents or other caregivers develop when they live side by side with their child’s illness. This kind of insight does not come from textbooks or monitors; it comes from hours spent noticing the smallest details. Parents may notice changes in the sound of their child’s laugh, the rhythm of their breathing, or even the sparkle (or lack of it) in their eyes.

Caregivers spend more time with patients than anyone else on the team. They know what “normal” looks like for their child, even when it is shaped by chronic illness or the way their child has developed. That makes caregiver intuition one of the most valuable tools in pediatric medicine.

It can be challenging for physicians to care for children who have developmental or physical problems from their illnesses. Communication can be hard, and the words spoken may be few. A child may express their emotions through gestures, glances, and even small changes in behavior. Yet, their parents understand them in a way no one else can. They can tell the difference between their child’s “tired” quiet and their “something’s wrong” quiet.

I have lost count of how many times parents have pulled me aside with that quiet urgency. They sense that something is not right, even when every lab test result, scan, and note looks perfectly fine. Often, their intuition is right. In several cases, when parents have shared their thoughts, it has helped us recognize problems early before they become critical.

That experience changed me. I learned that while medicine is based on facts I can see (evidence-based medicine), it must be guided by our humanity, and caregiver intuition is an important part of that.

Recognize changes and share them

Parents often notice details that we, as physicians, cannot measure. Some signs you can look for and mention to your care team include:

• Changes in mood, alertness, or how your child interacts with others
• Changes in appetite, how hungry they are, or how much they eat
• Problems sleeping
• Changes in skin color or swelling
• New restlessness, quietness, or movements that feel unusual
• A gut feeling that something isn't right

Those details are gold. Share your concerns with any member of the care team, including nurses, doctors, or other staff. The team will work together to decide what steps to take.

How caregiver intuition works

Modern medicine is based on evidence, things that we can measure and see. We rely on 3 key things (pillars) to care for and treat our patients. These are:  

• Research 
• Clinical experience 
• Patient values 

Caregiver intuition lives in that third pillar of patient values. When a caregiver’s observation does not match what our data shows, the right response is not to put it aside and dismiss it. The right response is to be curious. Evidence gives us a direction, but intuition reminds us why we are looking in the first place.  

Use caution in online searches

In moments of worry, it is natural to search online about symptoms. But online searches often lack the details that could affect the accuracy of the medical information.

Symptoms described online can overlap with many conditions. This could make families fearful for no reason, or families could make the wrong conclusions by mistake. So, if you notice something about your child, or find something online that concerns you, bring it to your health care team. Your care team wants to help you reach the right, safe conclusions.

Learning from caregivers

Some of the best clinical decisions I have made have started with a parent’s observation: “He’s breathing differently;” “Her eyes look distant;” “He’s just not himself.”

I have learned that listening to those words can change outcomes. It has made me a better doctor, and more importantly, a better human being.

As a caregiver, please share what you are sensing. Your intuition is valuable. Your instincts are real, and often lifesaving.

For clinicians, I think it is important that we listen to that quiet voice from the bedside. It may hold the earliest clue to what our patients need.

Medicine is not just about data; it is about connection. When intuition and evidence walk side by side, healing becomes more than science—it becomes human.