Walking with Families: My Life as a Hospital Chaplain

When a child is seriously ill, families often find themselves grappling with questions that have no easy answers. As a pediatric hospital chaplain, my role is to walk alongside patients and families during these challenging times, offering spiritual care that meets them where they are.

What does that really mean? Let me share about my journey and the work I do, so that you can see how chaplains help families cope with the spiritual and emotional challenges of illness.

How I became a chaplain

My path to chaplaincy was not a straightforward one. I did not grow up wanting to do this work. In fact, I only learned about chaplaincy while studying in seminary. One day, a military chaplain visited our class to talk about their work, and something clicked deep inside me. I thought, “This is it. This is what I am meant to do.”

From that moment, I explored different types of chaplaincy: hospital, hospice, and military. I eventually completed a practicum at a hospital. It was there, in the middle of so much pain and suffering, that I felt truly aligned with this calling.

Chaplaincy became not just a job but a vocation—a way to serve others even while carrying my own burdens.

What is hospital chaplaincy?

At its core, chaplaincy is about spiritual care. But spiritual care does not always mean religious care. It is about helping people find meaning, hope, and connection—whether that’s through faith, personal values, or something larger than themselves.

As chaplains, we do not tell people what to believe or how to think. Instead, we join them where they are, offering a grounded presence. We help patients and families slow down, reflect, and begin to search for peace, even in moments of crisis.

For some, spiritual care involves prayer or meditation. For others, it is simply the act of being heard and seen. Whatever families’ beliefs or practices, we aim to use things that bring them comfort and strength.

Creative interventions for spiritual care

One of the joys of my work is creating meaningful ways for patients to express themselves and process their experiences. I often use creative ways that help patients—especially children and teens—engage with their feelings and connect with their inner strength. Here are a few examples:

Mirror, Mirror activity

This activity invites patients to look into a mirror and reflect on the parts of themselves that others might not see. Using a poem as inspiration, they write down qualities that make them unique—their kindness, courage, creativity—and place these words around the mirror.

It is a powerful way to affirm their identity and remind them of their inner beauty, even during difficult times.

Vision boards

In my office, I have a vision board where patients can add their hopes and dreams. I created it for patients living with HIV, as their diagnosis often feels like the end of the world. The board invites them to dream again, to imagine a future beyond their diagnosis. And it is not just a space for them to post their goals—it is a space where I join their hopes and dreams with prayer and walk alongside them as they imagine new possibilities.

Breathing rituals with medical devices

Patients with sickle cell disease need to use a medical device called an incentive spirometer, which helps them with deep breathing. Using the device often feels like a chore. I ask them to think about it as a spiritual tool, encouraging them to pair their breaths with prayers or meditation. This breathing practice turns a difficult task into a moment of connection with God or inner peace.

Fulfilling dreams

One patient dreamed of preaching a sermon. Though he was only 13, his passion touched me deeply, so I worked with my team to make it happen. We arranged for him to preach in the hospital chapel. He delivered a heartfelt sermon that inspired everyone who attended.

Moments like these remind me of the importance of honoring patients’ dreams, no matter how big or small.

Facing hard spiritual questions

One of the hardest parts of my work is sitting with a patient who asks, "Why isn't God answering my prayers?" This is a heavy question, especially coming from a child.

As a chaplain, I do not rush to provide answers. Instead, I create space for them to ask, to wonder, and to process their feelings.

I believe this question is sacred. It shows a healthy spiritual curiosity and a desire to understand. When a patient asks why their prayers seem unanswered, I remind them that they are not alone. I point to the love and care they get from nurses, child life specialists, family, and others around them as evidence of divine presence. I remind them of the possibility that that, too, can be God's attention, care, and love.

Sometimes, the answers do not come right away—or at all. But asking the questions can be liberating. It opens the door to deeper faith and understanding, even during pain.

Walking each other home

At the heart of chaplaincy is love. Love is how I live my faith, both at work and in my personal life. I believe every encounter with another person is sacred, a chance to extend kindness, compassion, and connection.

We are all on our own spiritual journeys, and no one should feel rushed through theirs. What we all need is love—the kind of love that transforms, heals, and reminds us that we are not alone.

So, whether I am creating space for a child to dream, helping a family to process hard questions, or simply sitting quietly with a family in their pain, my hope is to walk them home with kindness and care. Because in the end, as spiritual leader Ram Dass said, "We are all just walking each other home.”