Every Day is a Father’s Day

There are no perfect fathers. There are dads who try very hard and get very close. And we are all learning as we go.

I began learning when I was still young. I became a “dad” to my brothers and sisters when my parents divorced and my father moved out. My siblings taught me that kids need coaching and attention. They need to be praised and adored.

And they need their dads to show up.

Today, my wife, Rachel, and I have 3 amazing children. My son, Corban, is 15, Aryka is 13, and my youngest daughter, Annaliese, is 10. From the beginning, I tried to be present and engaged in their lives. I was there for each birth. I watched them take their first steps.

When I had to be away, Rachel would call and share the moments I had missed: the first time someone threw a ball or the first time they told a joke.

I was grateful to be included, but it broke my heart not to be there. I wanted to walk more fully with my kids through life.

I was recently given that chance in the most unexpected way.

When the unexpected happens

Rachel takes the kids to the optometrist every year to check their eye health. Most years, everything is normal. But in 2025, the optometrist noticed Aryka’s optic nerves were swollen. She was sent for more tests and an MRI. That is when they found the tumor.

Aryka was diagnosed with chondrosarcoma, a soft tissue sarcoma growing on her optic nerve. Bigger than a golf ball, the tumor was behind her right eye, next to her brain and skull. Treatment would include 2 surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and many medicines.

It also meant she would need full-time care. I suddenly found myself where I had always and yet never wanted to be: a stay-at-home dad caring for a child with cancer.

Life is forever changed

The first months after Aryka was diagnosed were a whirlwind of activity. She and I drove hundreds of miles to a children’s hospital so she could begin treatment. We met dozens of new people, learned a lot of new words, and visited many new places.

It was a lot, and it all happened fast.

Life at home had suddenly been replaced by life at the hospital. Instead of taking her to school in the morning, I was taking her to radiation treatment. Rather than going to basketball practice, we were going to clinic appointments. Evenings that were once spent at home became phone calls from our room far away.

We did not really think about what we were doing. We just did what needed to be done.

Finding strength together

At first, the cancer felt distant. It was inside Aryka’s body. I could not see it. I could not touch it.

That changed when she started losing her hair. Suddenly, I could touch those places where hair had been. I could see what the treatments were doing to her and what the cancer was taking from her.

The reality of what was happening began to sink in.

I am her dad. I am supposed to be there for her, keep her safe, and fix things that need to be fixed. I did not know how to fix this.

So I prayed. I leaned on my faith. I took time to think about and process what we were facing, and I asked God for help as I walked beside Aryka.

I talked with Rachel, and we made decisions together. We worked as a family to find solutions to problems.

I also trusted Aryka. From the time she was little, she has learned how to fall and get back up. As she gets older, I let her discover her strengths, and I am there when she needs me.

No perfect fathers

I have always wanted to be a dad. It meant the world to me when our oldest was born. I have marveled at each one of my beautiful children. And I have always wanted a front row seat to everything possible.

These things did not change when Aryka was diagnosed with cancer. Instead, her diagnosis gave me a chance to spend more time with her than I had been able to spend before. It gave me a chance to support her in new and challenging ways. I have had great opportunities to let my family know how much I love and adore them.

I do not always get it right, but there are no perfect fathers. There are dads who try very hard and get very close. And we are all learning as we go.