Always Looking to the Future: What Got Me Through Treatment
Madi traveled from Oklahoma to St. Jude in Memphis after being diagnosed with AML at age 10.
When I was 10 years old, I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia (AML). It was January 2020, and I had just returned to school after Christmas break. The doctor explained to me what was going on, and I responded, “OK, as long as I don’t have to miss a special science lab in my 4th-grade class this Friday.”
Little did I know it was the beginning of several things I would miss that year.
I had to leave my home in Oklahoma and travel to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital for 9 months of treatment. My 3 older siblings came to the hospital to say goodbye, my parents hurried home to pack some clothes, and we were loaded into a medical transport bound for Memphis, Tennessee.
My mom and I moved into an apartment provided by St. Jude. We went to the hospital almost every day for appointments and treatment. In March, the COVID-19 pandemic erupted. It changed the routine we had come to know.
One of the most challenging things was that I could not go home and visit my family, and no one was allowed to visit me. We lived an extremely isolated life to keep my compromised immune system from getting sick. My mom and I had to get creative to keep ourselves occupied and looking toward the future.
To get through treatment, Madi focused on the future and made a list of everything she wanted to do when she got home.
My “When I get home” list
One of the things that helped me the most was creating a list of activities to do when it was all over. I called it my “When I get home” list. I would write in one of my many small notebooks. I wrote things like wanting to get a drink at QuikTrip on our way home or playing in the stream in my backyard.
Being stuck at the hospital made all these things a little bit more special.
The activities on the list were not outrageous. They were simple things I did not get to do while in treatment and cooped up. They were things I normally would not have thought twice about, but they helped me return to my life like normal. They helped me think about things outside and beyond treatment.
Focusing on things to add to the list also helped to pass the time. These small goals helped keep me motivated and excited to get back to my life. They almost made my experience go by a little faster. Making a list also helped me stay positive because it helped me look ahead instead of at my current situation.
Finding places I loved
Another thing we did to make the time in treatment easier was to find places I loved in Memphis. On days when I felt good, I liked going to the Memphis Zoo and the Bass Pro Shops at the Pyramid. My mom and I also found places where we loved to get food. One of my favorite places was Menchie’s, a frozen yogurt shop that we did not have in Oklahoma.
Doing fun things outside of the hospital helped distract me from the yucky parts. To this day, when I go back to St. Jude for checkups, we hit the same places we used to. Instead of having bad memories of the hospital, I have good memories from the joyful times we created.
When we return to Memphis for my yearly checkups, I’m excited to re-experience these memories. We have also added new items along the way, such as shopping at the outlet for new school clothes.
Today, Madi is 16, healthy, and has checked off everything on her "When I get home" list.
Making the best of each day
Overall, I did not let my current situation affect how I was going to live my life in the future. I made the best of what I was given, using the things and places around me. I think God gave me the ability to look at the positives in my life and taught me that ultimately, God is in control and wants what is best for me.
I hope that my experiences will help people in the future who have gone or are going through what I went through. I am 16 now and about to start my junior year of high school. I live in Oklahoma with my family, where I get health care at the St. Jude Tulsa affiliate clinic. I’m healthy, and I love hanging out with my friends. I love to read, paint, and do crafts. I also love working at a coffee shop and have successfully checked off all the items on the list I created while in treatment.
Editor's note
Season 3 of Caregivers SHARE, a St. Jude Podcast, features Madi's mom, Sara. Listen to the podcast episode below.
